worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
