She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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