I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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