just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
