So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
