Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
