booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
