She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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