This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Everclear isn't food dammit
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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