Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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