Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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