HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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