Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
