If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He did a backflip because drugs
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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