I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
