Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
