she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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