So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
