That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
this will be a night to untag.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
