How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
