Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
