I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
