You made me cry and you don't even care
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
