He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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