dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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