whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
