respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
