i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
