im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
