A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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