i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
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