I cut my penus on the lid.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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