the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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