So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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