I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
