I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
