pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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