i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
