You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
