Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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