I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
