we have officially lost it.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
