That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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