You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Your dad touched me again.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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