he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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