Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
