his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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