i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
