K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
