I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
