I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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