I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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