And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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